While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis
ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into
the pocket of his shorts.
Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing,
waiting for the lights to change.

A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts.
" What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.

"Oh," said the blonde sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I
had tennis elbow once."

After a couple of hours of tennis, a few of the guys are telling each other, why their marriages are perfect.

1. Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
     She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We sleep in separate beds.
    Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere ..... but she keeps finding her way back.

4. The last fight was my fault.
    My wife asked, "What's on TV?"   I said "Dust!"

An eldery Eastern motorist and his wife driving through Arizona on vacation saw a horseman riding alongside the road and stopped to ask if he were a real cowboy. The man answered, "Yes"
We recognize your hat, shirt, leather vest and Levi's as authentic Western wear, "the motorist said, but why are you wearing tennis shoes?"
"Because if I wore boots people would think I was a truck driver, "he replied.

After a two year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's recreational preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

You know you are in Alaska when ....... you have tennis elbow but have never played tennis, just snagged a lot of salmon.

TheTennis Player's Prayer:

Please don't let me be so nervous
When I toss the ball for service.

Give me speed and strength unhaulting,
Aces and no double-faulting

Install in me the skill and dash
Of Agassiie, Williams, Roddick and Ashe.

When a high lob starts to fall,
Must I always miss the ball?

Lord I know you could I'm sure,
Find me a Tennis Elbow cure.

With the guidance from above,
Never let me fall in "Love".

And Lord, while I am on matters of this sort
Please let me find an Open Court.
Questions and Answers:

Q: How many tennis players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: "What do you mean it was out, it was in!!!"

Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Q: What is the definition of endless love?
A: Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

Q: Where do ghosts play tennis?
A: On a tennis corpse!

Q: Why is a tennis game a noisy game?
A: Because each player raises a racket.
Two hunters are walking through a forest looking for deer, when all of a sudden a giant bear jumps out and scares the hell out of them. They drop their guns and start out running. One of the hunters stops, opens up his backpack and quickley laced up a pair of tennis shoes. His buddy breathlessly looked at him and said, "What are you dooing? Are you crazy? You can't outrun the bear". To this the other hunter said, "I know, but all I have to do is outrun you!"